


Hidden in the  Shadow

by flipflop917



Category: Not the Tv show - Fandom, The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments (Movies) RPF, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Mortal, Anal Sex, Bisexual Male Character, Blushing, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Boys In Love, Breakfast in Bed, Clingy Magnus Bane, Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dark Past, Depression, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Erotica, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Gay, Gay Sex, Gayness, Glitter, Hand Jobs, Haphephobia, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Hidden Talents, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Is Quite Magical, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood in Love, Marriage, Mental Disorders, Mortal Magnus, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Overworking, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Lives, Past Relationship(s), Past Torture, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Protective Magnus Bane, Public Claiming, Public Display of Affection, Quiet Alec, Rape/Non-con Elements, Relationship(s), Romance, Scars, Selective-nontalking, Shower Sex, Shy Alec Lightwood, Shyness, Sleeping Together, Sleepy Alec Lightwood, Sleepy Boys, Sleepy Cuddles, Teasing, Top Magnus, Undercover Missions, Unhealty coping, Violence, What magnus wants is what he gets, Young Adults, blowjob, body scars, handjobs, mortal Alec, mutilple orgams, new life, night cuddling, refuse to eat, smartass ALec, trust issue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29188359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop917/pseuds/flipflop917
Summary: Heartbreak isn't a stranger to Magnus bane.When coming home to find his lover in bed with another man, alcohol becomes his new best friend. It may seem like unhealthy coping, but how do you deal with betrayal? How do you move on from someone you put your whole trust in?  His friends advise seeing a therapist, but he knows that won't cure loneliness. You can't just talk your feelings away and think you'll get better.  Life just doesn't work like that.  While getting used to a boring pattern, a new stranger moves in next door. A mysterious boy with captivating eyes. No matter how much Magnus tells himself to walk away, he can't help but feel drawn to the young fellow.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33





	1. Who are you

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I was in a rush to write this.  
> It's not edited and it's not corrected.  
> I might add more to the first chapter but we'll see.  
> There is going to be a lot of triggering warnings.  
> Mainly the stuff I am going through.  
> Enjoy darlings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting up the story

Wednesdays were the only weekday’s Tiki’s wasn’t packed. You were able to pick your booth, take your time ordering, and the meal arrived quickly. The bar would be empty and if the bartender was nice, a free drink was a possibility. Other times, the diner was packed full, a long line would be out the doors. Hours could go by until you got to your turn, but the wait was worth it. The restaurant was well known for its low-priced delicious food and comfy seating arrangement. Plus every Friday, half-priced deserts and free shots. What was not to love?

Shots were very much what Magnus bane needed. His thoughts need to be washed away with alcohol and taken to a drunken haze. An unexpected visitor showed up today. Camille, his Ex-fiancee, stood on his doorsteps at 8:30 am, wearing ruby lipstick banging on the door. “ Forgive me, Magnus” She begged. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her mascara smeared down her cheeks. “ I didn’t mean any of it. It was an accident and I regret my mistakes. Please don’t do this baby. We can still fix this. There’s light in the darkness, Nothing has to end. Our love can be repaired. We’ll both go see a council and-”

“And what,” Magnus interrupted,” go back to the way we were? 

Hate to break it to you dear, but my love wasn’t enough for you to have another man underneath our sheets. I loved you, Camille, I opened my heart, I told you my secrets, and yet you fucking betrayed me. How can you think going to talk about our problems together will fix anything? Were still two different people with different lives.” He ran a hand through his spiky hair. “ Let me go, Camile. Let us go. There’s nothing to hold on to. “

“ Magnus, baby, please, don’t do this.” She reached to grasp his hand but he pulled away. “ Goodbye, Camile, I hope you find what you’re looking for.” He closed the door and forced himself to keep it shut. First chances were given. Second chances were ruined. The rest of the day was spent opening memories and burning worthless photographs. Old objects were placed in an old crate and stuffed behind clothes. Over time, the will power to throw them out would be built up.

Coming to Taki’s was planned at the last minute. A distraction was what Magnus called it. Wallowing in self-pity wasn’t going to help anything and at 9:00 pm he headed to the restaurant wearing his red blazer with checkered pants. Such an unusual look, but stood out from the rest. 9:15, the first drink was pour and downed. **Devil Springs Vodka.** Strong with flavor but mild with an aftertaste. 

One of the perks of being Magnus bane, you were able to hold your alcohol. Unlike some, it would take him three whole bottles to get drunk. Suffering was the reason. With each gulp, highness would replace the pain. Similar to a drug, addiction was a likelihood, but will- power was another advantage of Magnus. He knew when to take a break or slow down the limit of drinks. Rarely did he ever get drunk and getting wasted was not a good look.

Clary Fray, a hardworking waitress, sliced an upside-down pineapple cake and put a large chunk on a plate. Her shift ended a few minutes ago but seeing her placed it in front of her sober friend and took a seat. “ Girl Problems?, “ She asked, popping a cherry in her mouth. Listening was her specialty. She loved hearing about the latest gossip or who her friends were dating. Magnus stabbed the frosting off his free dessert.” Always biscuit, I’m like a walking sex toy. Everyone wants to be my best friend then use me because I’m fucking amazing in bed. I was stupid to think Camile was different. He pushed the half eating cake away. Break-ups ruined appetites. 

“ She came, took what she needed, and left. She knew about my horrible family. She made me feel like I was worth something.”

“ And you are”, Clary added, she reached in the bowl for the eleventh cherry. “ Your magnificent Magnus bane. Your purpose is to be an inspiration. You inspire people to not give up and you’re an oxymoron if you don’t follow your advice. “

“ Biscuit, I tried. I gave someone a chance and ended up getting fucked.” He gulped down his sixth shot and slammed the glass down. “ When I was a child, true love was my dream. Whenever I went somewhere, I tried to catch someone’s eyes. Man or women, I wanted a family. Have someone to care for and be cared for. Is that too hard to want? Too much to need?”

Clary stopped chewing. By now, it was way over her working time. Jace was going to be worried. “ No, it’s not but it takes time. When you fall, dust yourself up and carry the hell on. “

“ I’m trying, believe me. Do you know Camile dared to show up at my house and beg for mercy? She thinks it’s okay to fuck another guy then run back to me like a sad drenched puppy. When I closed her off, my mind wanted to run back. I wanted to hug her and act like it was okay. Like everything was FINE!”

“Really” Clary scoffed.” What a bitch, You would have been a lamb to slaughter if you turned back. I’m impressed with what you did. You made the right choice when I didn’t. I never believed in myself to walk away”

“Well, I’m glad you have blondie, he gives me gray hairs, but at least he’s kind-hearted and trustworthy. Rare to find that type”

“I suppose your right. I’m grateful to have him in my life and I would probably have been lost without him.”

“You have me”, Magnus states.” I am always here for you, Biscuit.”

“ Same for you bane,” She swallows the last cherry and stands up “ I’m always here for you as well. I hate to say this, but Jace will be getting worried if I don’t come home”

“I know, I know, blondie and his overprotectiveness.”

“ Exactly,” She kisses his cheek and grabs her handbag. 

**Be Home soon,** she texts Jace. 

Before walking out, she turns back to the bar.

“You know one day Magnus,” she says, opening the door, 

” Someone will come and tear down those walls you built. You’re going to have to do everything in your power to fight for it.” 

Fight for it? 

What does that mean? 

Magnus sits on the stool for a couple more minutes then pulls out a twenty.

“ Keep the change,” He tells the bartender.

It’s freezing walking home in the nighttime. All around it’s pitch black, not a soul or car in sight.

What does fight for it mean, Magnus wonders? 

How do you fight for love? 

Trying to stay on the sidewalk gives him a slight headache. He can’t even walk straight let alone act like a straight person. Too many shots were drunken tonight. Six should have been the limit but what else was there to do? Go back to his Ex? A few more blocks and he would be home. Maybe take a nice bubble bath or curl up by the fire with a book. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn was the latest read. A nice twisted romance novel helps with emotional pain.

“Shit,” Magnus swears, misstepping on the lobby steps. The stairs were worse than the sidewalk and the dim lights in the building didn't help. His heavy scuffing echos off the doors through the hallway. _Just a few more steps._ Thank god he had considerable neighbors. As much noise as he was making, the whole street possibly heard loud stomping. "Sorry", Magnus mentally apologizes, gripping the wallpaper. The ringing in his head increases. A combination of being over-intoxicated, sleepy, and in shock.

The sixth door to the elevator came as a relief. Magnus reached for his keys in his left coat pocket. Empty. Annoyed, he scrummaged his hand to the right pocket. Empty. " Fucking really." He patted his clothes till he felt an indent. There, in the back pocket, they were. He forced the jagged metal into the lock and turned the knob. Before heading straight to the bathroom, Magnus paused. He glanced at the door next to his and frowned. The yellow for sale sign was missing! Was it torn down? Did it unstick and the cleaners threw it away? 

It took a few seconds for the realization to hit. Someone was going to move in. Previously, an amputee veteran named Hodge used to live in the empty room. Once a week, Magnus would visit and listen to the stories the elderly man told. Certain stories, like how Hodge got married once and almost died of cancer, he treasured. Those simple moments of listening to a person tell their life were honorable, and the news of the veteran's passing made Magnus depressed.

He turned away from his new neighbor's curiosity and flopped on the Honbay couch. idea's of asking the lobbyist to mind, but he pushed it away. Patience was the key. He would wait until the new stranger moved in and make a good first impression. First impressions were essential. You don't want someone to think your crazy do you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate writing chapters like this, but I have to make the story come together.  
> You gotta go through hell to get through heaven.  
> Weird comparison but it's true.  
> Anyway hope you like it and please be safe.  
> I may not know you but I still care about you.  
> This story will have some triggers stuff I am dealing with.  
> If you want to talk, write me a comment.


	2. Backstory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little introduction to Alec’s life and struggles.  
> TRIGGER WARNING: Scene of sucide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this took me a while but hopefully it was worth it. Enjoy and be aware theres alot of triggering content. It might not be vivid details but there is descipive words.

Song theme<https://youtu.be/3IhoPpHYXjo>

A nook of a coffee shop was only for a certain type. Mainly, the loners or introverts that try to be imperceptible chose that spot. You might see them escaping in a lovesick book or writing their feelings away, but never are they, conversationist. Taking a sip of decaf coffee, Alec slouched in the narrow booth and stared emotionless out the window. Morning mist fogged the glass, but he was too lost in thought to care. The outside world didn't have anything eye-catching anyway. Another day, another night, another week, he survived. Today shouldn't even exist. Last night should have been the end. The memory freshly replayed as Alec took another bitter gulp.

_Luke-warm water filled the bathtub's Brim. A few more drops and it would overflow. Alec was at the kitchen table, scribbling words on a blank piece of paper. Words such as Goodbye, Regret, and moving on, were written in between the blue lines. He placed his unsharpened pencil down and read over his note. His English teacher would have been proud if a suicidal letter was an essay. The grammar was correct, the word choice was perfect and the details were very explanative. Alec folded the letter in fourths and stuffed it in his sweatpants pocket. Aside, his phone was buzzing with text messages._

_" **Party at Raphael's, it starts at six and a bunch of people are going. You should come, I know you aren't social but maybe someone will stand out. Hope to see you there! " - IZZY**_

_**" I need you to start your shift early tonight. Simon called out sick and everyone else refuses to work a later. I promise to give you a raise.** _  
_**\- BOSS** _

_**" I know you don't like working, but your sister is begging me to go with her to Raphael's party. Heard it's going to be lit.** _  
**-SIMON**

_**"Hey Alec, I'm sorry about last night, Clary needed me and I couldn't just leave her. She's been through a lot and I know you would do the same thing. You are the most understanding person I've ever met. Thanks, brother"- JACE** _

_Brother. Alec despised that name. Brothers are dependable. Brothers are_  
_Companions. Brothers aren't supposed to like brothers. He smashed his phone against the wall and raked his hand down his face. An outburst of emotions was spiraling. Disgusting. Nasty. Sin. Faggot. Who the fuck falls in love with their sibling let alone a guy. Jace was his brother for god's sake. Getting jealous of every girl he dated was unspeakable. Illegal, crimeful. NOT FUCKING NORMAL._

_That didn't matter though. Nothing did anymore. Alec slide his closet open and picked through the racks. What do you wear on your last day of living? All the clothing hung up was dull and tight. He considered wearing pajamas but chose grey sweats. This wasn't supposed to be a fashion statement. He took a glance over at himself in the mirror and felt sick. Almost to the point of vomiting. Was this happening? Plenty of options were available. Buy a new phone, call the nearest therapist and run to them with problems. Who knows, in few years perhaps the ache in his chest would fade. Fake smiles could become real. Cutting would feel painful and depression would be extinct._

_Was that possible?_

_Surely, Happiness took time. Bad days happened, but what if they outweigh the good days. Is it you failing the obstacles the world throws at you or is it ignorance. People ignoring_ or choosing to not believe the suicidal signs and would rather suffer at the funeral than seek help.

_No!_

_Multiple times Alec tried to reach out. He took time out of his afternoon to stay after football practice and speak to Mr.Lucian, the counselor. For a while, it worked. Being able to open up and speak your mind felt pleasant. No one interrupted. No one criticized. No one judged. For a while, Alec felt alive. He kept his talking sessions with Mr.Lucian a private event and never spoke about it. Not Jace, Not Izzy, Not his mother or father knew. Heck for all they knew, the football coach was having late-night lessons. Never did they think their son was emotionally unstable. Nor they would ever know. For a while, everything was fine._

_Never did it last..._

_Happiness turned sour and motivation was helped by meth. Just a puff pushed the outside away, enough to make you the perfect quarterback and earn respect from anyone who crosses you. No longer did he feel it was necessary to go Mr.Lucian. Whatever this stage was, it would fade. Nothing lasted forever, besides it wasn't that bad. A couple of self-doubting thoughts ringing inside his head wasn't the end of the world.. Waiting at home, was a bed, a resting tomb, another method of escapism. All toxic thoughts would slide away and a fake fantasy of hope would be the substitute._

_For a while, everything was okay._

_Izzy was the silent observer. She knew that a sigh could be a Person's communication signal, but never could decipher the ones that slip from her brother's mouth. Jace was the supporter. He raised the underdogs and was a listener to anyone who needed to be heard, never though, did he make time to listen to the one who needed_ _him most. Both were aware of their brother's isolation, but in their eyes, Alec was just a confused teenager going through the motions of high school. They convinced themselves he would find his purpose after he goes to college or meet the special someone. Sadly, their beliefs went unnoticed and throughout the years, the sibling grew apart._

_For today, Everything was disastrous._

_Alec dipped one foot in the tub, the water now lukewarm from hours of being cooled. He turned his body away from the rusty showerhead and maneuvered himself to lie down. He released the tension in his limbs as the water molded around his body like a weighted blank. Aside from his neck cramping from the all-hard wall angling his head, he was comfortable. Above, the shower light flickered, a reminder to hurry up, or darkness would consume the whole bathroom. He gripped the metallic razor and brought the sharp teeth to his wrist, the starting line. " Breath," he told himself, " This would all be over soon. No more pain, no more worrying, No more pretending."_

_Slowly, he dragged the razor down his inner right arm. Like a rose thorn, it gripped his skin, slicing his veins more deeply than the average cut. Blood surfaced to the edges but didn't leak out. The razor was sharp enough, he had yet to withstand the pain. Coolness in the air numbed the stinging. With a shakey arm, he switched the blade to the left wrist. His grasp triggered his forearm muscles, pulsating blood out from the sliced skin and seeping down to the crevices of his knuckles. Inch by Inch, another drag down his left wrist flooded more ounces of blood. Assorting with water, it acted like a dye, staining the white interior. He let the razor fall from his red liquified fingers. His slashed arms floated with the diluted water, brimming the surface of the tub, it overflowed down the sides to the tiles. Breath growing heavier, holding on wasn't worth it. Drowsiness blurred his vision, making the whole narrow space a haze. Alec fluttered his eyelids closed and took a hopeful last breath._

_In and out..._  
_Hey!_  
In and out...  
Alec!  
In and out  
HEY!  
Alec snapped back to reality and glared angrily at the waitress. Stupid Clary Fairchild, always being annoying and currently the treasure his brother values. " What the hell do you want?" He asks. His lips pull back into a threatening snarl, warning her to state her fucking business or leave. Small talk was not going to earn bonus points or change their relationship. Hate wouldn't change. Not being prepared for his rude attitude, she clears the knot in her throat and trys to focus on doing her job. Her plan of trying to become friends instantly thrown out the window. "I-I was just wondering if you want more coffee." She points her pen to his almost empty cup." We give out seconds free and you look like you could use."

" Huh," Alec says sarcastically, "last time I checked, who asked for your opinion, cause I certainly and definitely don't want it." His demeanor was delt only by certain people. It was like a lamb to slaughter for anyone to have or start a conversation.

Clary's eyes widen. She walked right into that one. " W-well" She stutters, you look like you were troubled by something and you know caffeine always helps. Jace-"

" I don't care about Jace at this moment" Alec Hisses. His patience running thin within minutes. What I would like is for you to do is go back and pretend to clean the counter when all your doing is fantasizing about my brother. " It was harsh to say but right now, fuck it. So be it if she was flustered and about to cry. Was it worth trying to fake friends with someone that Jace will walk out the door on?

Clary huffed and stomped away. She knew to not walk away angry, just walk away. Being able to let negativity go was learned. A simple comment like his was painful, hurt worse than a cut. Answering back in a smartass comment was negative. Two negatives did not make a right.

Confronting Jace about his rude sibling wasn't going to get anywhere. Alec wouldn't change, not for him, not for anyone. Question did come to mind on why he acted insolent and distempered. Jace did foretell her how he wasn't the nicest or civilized person to be around, but it worse than she thought. Alec was an impudent loner. He preferred to be alone and used his trick of lashing out to do so. With his rude comments and replies, it worked. Probably so well, he didn't even have friends or enemies.

Behind the counter, she refilled a customer's glass and glanced back over. There, the booth was empty. A five-dollar bill was placed under the napkin holder. No tip. He must have left when her back was turned. Not that she expected a goodbye. Baby steps were going to be a long impossible road. So far, their relationship wasn't even acquaintances, more like competitors, competing for the attention of golden lock boy.

Alec walked through the busy streets, dodging the crowds of people heading opposite, his leather jacket zipped up, keeping him warm. Brooklyn was going to take time to get used to. Especially the noise. Cars beeped their horns, people yelling for cabs, road rage, and worthless advertisements being blared out from speakers. The apartment he bought was supposed to have soundproof walls. It did make the cost of renting a room expensive but he had the money. He could buy hundreds of rooms and still have leftover cash. An advantage of working undercover in the top serving military, you won't have to worry about poverty.

Today was a fresh start. New environment, new house, new change, all with the help of Izzy's convincing. Before he left, she grabbed him in a tight hug. Her prayers of her brother suceeding being reapeated, over and over again . " Life is like riding a bicycle, she whispered in his ear, " To keep your balance, you must keep moving forward."

And as he walked the streets of Brooklyn, ready for a clean slate, he remembered his sisters words.  
" You must keep moving forward."

Never once did he look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THis might be a weird questioning but does this sound mature or childish writing. I am just asking and my opinion is Different from yours. Anyway, please leave a comment or kudos. Enjoy the week or day. I will be updating soon.  
> I don’t know though, should I have magnus meet next chapter or slide it out?  
> Decison! Decisions!

**Author's Note:**

> I hate writing chapters like this one, but I need to set the story.  
> Please be safe during these difficult times, I may not know you, but i still care.  
> I would appreciate it if you left a comment or kudus.  
> Would make me feel hopeful and keep me writing.  
> My Snapchat is Kate_wojo20 if you want to become friends.  
> Goodnight or Goodday


End file.
